While the cat's away

My mother has gone off to the US, by herself, to visit her twin brother and her older sister. She wanted to celebrate her 86th birthday with her twin brother, and to visit her sister, aged 93. Those are pretty good genes I have inherited, I reckon.

Mum lives only a few doors away from us, and we eat dinner together most nights. Mum is gluten and lactose intolerant, so there are quite a few things that are verboten for us. We don't mind that, there are plenty of alternatives, but now there is terrible freedom! We can eat wheat and milk! We made a list of things to eat while she is gone. Here it is:

• Wonton wrappers - little prawn dumplings coming up
• Burgers, cooked on toasty bread bases
• Pizza
• Fettucine and spaghetti
• Floured and crumbed fish
• Veal schnitzel, floured with tarragon, with a lemon sauce (somehow no other flour works as well)
• Cous cous, as itself, or as a crumb coating for fish or meat
• Filo pastry parcels
• Puff pastry

Hmmm, how is this going to affect The Diet, I wonder?